Emotional Invalidation

What is emotional invalidation?

Emotional invalidation involves dismissing or rejecting someone's thoughts, feelings, or behaviours, effectively conveying that their emotions are unimportant or incorrect.

This can leave individuals feeling insignificant and can take various forms at any time. Some people intentionally use invalidation to manipulate, making you question your feelings with statements like, "I'm sure it wasn't really that bad." Others may unintentionally invalidate feelings or emotions with well-meaning comments meant to cheer you up, such as "It could be worse." Despite their intentions, these remarks can still cause hurt.

Emotional invalidation isn't limited to words; it can also involve nonverbal actions. Regardless of the form it takes, emotional invalidation can lead to feelings of confusion and distrust.

Anybody can experience emotional invalidation, regardless of age, and it can be extremely hurtful for both adults and children. Feelings of worthlessness and self-isolation are frequently brought on by emotional invalidation; these emotions can then have an effect on your everyday life, including your relationships, job, and home life.

What are some emotional invalidation comments?

'You shouldn't feel that way'

'Your too sensitive'

'It could be worse'

'Others have it much worse than you'

'You make a big deal out of everything'

What are some of the effects of emotional invalidation?

Emotional invalidation can lead to individuals developing depression and/or anxiety or it can exacerbate these if someone already has these conditions.

Invalidated emotions can also cause individuals to develop low self-esteem resulting from hiding emotions.

Challenges managing your own emotions can also potentially come about due to no longer trusting your own emotions, leading to confusion and self-doubt.

Emotional invalidation can happen at any point in life, but when it occurs in childhood, its effects can extend into adulthood.

Emotional invalidation can trigger other unfavourable feelings and even mental health issues.

You can, however, manage and deal with invalidation more effectively when you know what it is and how to spot it.

Now that I know alittle more about emotional invalidation, what now?

If you have experienced emotional invalidation in the past and/or present, firstly allow yourself kindness. Allow yourself compassion and know that it's okay to validate yourself if you are going through something really tough to you. We are all unique individuals, and our experiences are unique to us. No other person can tell you what or how you should be feeling because they haven't experienced it as you have.

If you have people in your life that continue to invalidate your feelings, emotions or experiences, take a moment to pause and perhaps communicate how their comment has made you feel.

Setting boundaries may also be something worth considering ensuring that your wellbeing is at the forefront.

Journalling may also help in expressing ourselves safely.

If you feel that you have no safe space or person to talk to, you may consider seeking help through finding a mental health professional.

For further inquiries regarding this topic, please reach out.

halen@wellbeingcounselling.co.nz